Thursday, January 31, 2013

Short marriage ! Big Salary ! 498a ! arrest and in Big $hit !

Question by yet another husband : 
  • The Short marriage was a disaster; We were completed cheated into it 
  • Wife left me and my family mentally mauled, abused and defamed in the locality / society
  • Now to add to it she has filed a complete false and concocted IPC 498a case at ______
  • I was arrested and released /or/ My father / mother / sister were arrested but obtained bail 
  • I have filed for ___divorce___ /or/ ___annulment____ /or/ restitution___ case
  • I do NOT want to pay a single penny maintenance as she does NOT deserve anything
  • Should I leave my job ? What else should I do ?
Short answers [I am NOT a lawyer and this is NOT a legal advice !!, I am sharing my hard earned experience here !!
  • The above questions are common these days; While all above points MAY not be true in every case, some permutation of combination of the misery exists 
  • I was hit by a false 498a approx 13 years ...yeah more than a decade ago...
  • I though things will change ....will improve... sadly not much has improved 
  • More and more honest, law abiding men are being sucked into such terrible marriages
  • While it is difficult to answer all questions on a single blog, while it is difficult to understand all the permutations and combinations or guess the future course of events, some basic clarification is given below 
Basic facts first
    • I) THE 498a SAGA and related :
    • The 498a case as you must have known is a criminal case that charges (a) you (the terrible thing called husband) treated her soooo very cruelly that it would cause great mental cruelty and /or danger to her life and limb and (b) *alleges* that you or your relatives did all that mental / physical cruelty for dowry [ref Note @ below] 
    • This is a weapon .... a boomerang that goes round and round .... with the idea of harassing you , but IN THE BARGAIN trying to get money from you 
    • Today's Marriage itself is money ... 
    • Today's marriage is a trap for the honest male
    • Why ??? Sincere hard working men who work as clerks NEVER get highly software girls as wife, the oh so loving software creatures will always *marry up* and now that you have touched her pristine pure c____t, you better pay .... sorry IF I broke forum rules here 
    • Having said all that, LEGALLY speaking, the 498a case itself does NOT lead to payment of money, just as a murder case (another type of criminal case) does NOT mean the murderer can pay Rs. xyz to the murdered or the injured and get away from the accusation !
    • Criminal trials of this nature are long and arderous the conviction rate is close to NIL ...repeat NIL ... not the 2% flouted around AS LONG as the wife is hale and health and a software b___t running or not running around trees
    • II) NULLITY /or/ Divorce /or/ restitution : 
    • We do NOT know how you filed for divorce or annulment or RCR or who advised you to file for such a civil case. 
    • Civil cases to get out of a marriage are a pain
    • After every such civil case for Divorce or RCR the wife can easily file for interim maintenance
    • the interim maintenance can run for ages and the man milked during that period
    • Filing for divorce without the best of proof is at best a futile exercise  at worst a huge drain of money and time 
    • We only hope you have VERY strong arguments and proof FOR the case 
    • III) Maintenance ... do I give up my job ???: 
    • Yes ... after filing the first salvo on 498a, most probably ex or ex's emissaries will approach you with huge ransom to be paid 
    • Most probably you will tell them to go forth and multiply
    • Angered by you NOT submitting to their will and pleasure, Most probably they will try and file for maintenance .... a very hefty maintenance .....all in the name of justice 
    • YES maintenance IS a pain, "maintenance by man" is an oxymoron when used in conjunction with equality , so most people think of loosing their job
    • the PRIME question you should ask is, is loosing your job affecting your career ? will it affect your short or long term career / sanity , and WILL / will NOT wife be able to prove your earning EVEN if you take up alternative employment
    • So NOT act in haste
    • think you have lost your mobile phone, think you are at home without answering that blackberry or that cracberry or that customer's call or that con call and think you are staring as a free lace with a shoulder bag ...... THINK hard for a week and IF you can't take it for a week, DON'T do it 
    • IV ) Ok old man Vinayak, I (husband) DON't want to pay sati savithri ...come what may why give me this bhaashan ....tell me about the maintenance which ....... will take away from me 
    • ===================================================
    • considering the SHORT marriage 
    • In case you do NOT have children 
    • and THAT she and you may both be young (meaning wife will be under pressure soon to get married ... ???)
    • and that wife may also have a career and can't sit at home for long 
    • there are at least a dozen angles OUTSIDE of loosing your job that you can do to (a) delay (b) reduce (c) frustrate the opponent on maintenance / alimony 
    • already this is getting too long on a mail.....
    • so meet experts / weekly gurus at weekly meets !!!
    • Note @
    • Section 498A in The Indian Penal Code, 1860 498A. Husband or relative of husband of a woman subjecting her to cruelty.-- Whoever, being the husband or the relative of the husband of a woman, subjects such woman to cruelty shall be punished with imprisonment for a term which may extend to three years and shall also be liable to fine. 
    • 1. Chapter XXA inserted by Act 46 of 1983, s. 2. 
    • Explanation.- For the purposes of this section," cruelty" means- (a) any wilful conduct which is of such a nature as is likely to drive the woman to commit suicide or to cause grave injury or danger to life, limb or health (whether mental or physical) of the woman; or (b) harassment of the woman where such harassment is with a view to coercing her or any person related to her to meet any unlawful demand for any property or valuable security or is on account of failure by her or any person related to her to meet such demand.]