musing on the state of society and fate of men. NO warranties
Monday, July 29, 2013
IF you thought only current gen divorces, think again!! Divorce high among 50-plus!! Variety of reasons lead to growing divorce rate : President of American Library Bar Association, Family Court, Lucknow, Ranjana Dixit, says, "Many couples remain in an unhappy relationship for so many years for the sake of children. But, once the children are settled, people prefer to walk out of the marriage as they know it is time for a better life."
Divorce high among 50-plus
Priyangi Agarwal, TNNJul 25, 2013, 01.46AM IST
LUCKNOW: It came as a shock to 58-year-old Sushila when her husband of four decades filed a divorce case in the family court. Her husband, 61-year-old Harish, a retired IASofficer, had never liked Sushila because she was not 'smart and educated'. Since Harish was having an affair with a much younger woman, he wanted to part ways with his wife.Sushilarealised she had no choice but to get divorced.
Instances of older couples, married for many years, heading for divorce are not unusual in the present day. Lawyers practising in the family court say the trend of divorce among couples aged 50 years or above in the city is on the rise. In 2012, nearly 1,500 cases of divorce were filed in the family court of the city. As per the records, around 40% of the total cases were of older couples. In year 2000, only one or two couples to get divorced were aged 50 years or above.
As per the lawyers of the family court, in most of the instances of elderly getting divorced, husband initiates for divorce and often, he has an extra-marital affair. "Usually, at old age, men have both money and free time. They no longer feel old and believe they have a long life ahead them. On the other hand, divorce comes as a great shock to thewomenwho feel physically, emotionally, financially and mentally weak. After spending so much on a relationship, they think that they are left with nothing," says Shalini Mathur, who runs a family counseling centre in the city.
Citing reasons for surge in old-age divorce, Mathur adds, "Earlier, in cases of mismatched marriages, husband used to leave his wife without a legal separation and go for second marriage. Without raising any objection, the first wife used to spend her entire life in another house or city. Now, couples opt for divorce."
President of American Library Bar Association, Family Court, Lucknow, Ranjana Dixit, says, "Many couples remain in an unhappy relationship for so many years for the sake of children. But, once the children are settled, people prefer to walk out of the marriage as they know it is time for a better life."
One such couple is Ajay (52), a private executive, who recently divorced his wife. He says, "Though we were married, I realised that I was alone in the marriage as our interests, principles and expectations from life were completely different. When I came to know that she was cheating on me, I decided to end the relationship." He adds that post-divorce he is living a much happier life.
In some cases, however, it is children who initiate divorce among parents. For example, Rajesh, a senior government employee, used to physically abuse his wife, Radha, a homemaker everyday under the influence of alcohol. Tired of her father's behaviour, 25-year-old Monica, after completing her MBA, asked her mother to get out of the marriage. With Monica's support, Radha divorced Rajesh. "As women with abusive husbands do not want to go back to their paternal homes, they used to stay with the husband. But after settling down, children assure their mothers that they will take care. For such women, divorce in old age is a form of liberation," said Mathur.